netmouse: (dancing)
netmouse ([personal profile] netmouse) wrote2011-04-14 09:22 pm

Of flowers, boys, and men

Almost no clothes for boys have flowers on them. Nor toys, nor accessories.

This has really struck me as I've shopped for and sorted through kid and baby clothes this past year, and presses on my mind, especially this week after Brian brought home some nice sunflowers to put in a vase.

We want guys to buy flowers, right? And to grow gardens and potted plants, and pick flowers from them to decorate the home, as my father has done all my life?

So why this complete lack of flowers for boys? What kind of message are we sending? That they can admire lovely things from a distance, but can't own them or take care of them? That girls can dress themselves in the most cheerful colors nature offers, but boys either can't or have to think of them differently. (as fruit colors, or better yet, colors for cars and trucks??)

It's considered an insult to call a guy a pansy, but there's a reason why Bloom County's "Dandelion break" struck all the right chords. Flowers help relax the mind and body, reduce stress, and generally make life more pleasant.

I mean, I can see why a pansy became the symbol for a complete lack of "manliness". The petals come off the stem with little pressure, are flimsy, and bruise easily. But what about Tulips? Roses? Sunflowers? Begonias? Bright flaming Indian paintbrush? Brave little crocuses? Warm friendly buttercups? Tasty clover?

Right now most "unisex" clothing is plain, striped, or has animals on it. Really cute animals. Which is all well and good, but I'd like to see Unisex clothing with flowers. Bright, bold daisies and sunflowers. And maybe some jungle flowers, to go with all those animals.

Because boys should be taught to walk with beauty, too.

[identity profile] bryanalexander.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I've been amazed at how persistent strict gender coding is for kids. When my first was born (16 years ago!), we were living in Ann Arbor, and expected some kind of post-PC gender openness. Instead we got boy=blue, girl=pink, and have seen it *everywhere* ever since.

Flowers... still too weak, and too gay.

I suspect sports culture keeps this going, too.
ext_13495: (Default)

[identity profile] netmouse.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, and it's really weird, since there are so many other nice colors.

I was really pleased to find a yellow infant swim cover on the coolies (http://www.cooliessurf.com/rashguards/boys-zip-up-sale.html) website that is predominantly yellow and has octopi on it for Rosie, though it was in the boys section (and is now sold out, but we got the last one! yay!), and I was rather proud of them for having a couple styles with flowers on them listed under boys.

They are outdated styles, though. If you look at their current infant zip-ups for boys, they are all blue, brown, and black. They do still have a "navy hibiscus" style for older boys, but I think surfer styles get more leeway due to the association with hawaii, which is better about this than other states.

[identity profile] bryanalexander.livejournal.com 2011-04-18 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe that's the ticket for America, focusing on the non-normative parts of our cultures.