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The Open Source Boob Project and subsequent stoning
This morning I find myself asked in email both what my take on the OSBP is and (in a separate message) whether or not someone can quote a comment I made on it elsewhere. People are welcome to quote me, and in fact here I will quote myself.
I am really sorry that at least one track of the widespread online discussion of this project was headlined with mean disdain and an association of it with the thousands of creepy, unsanctioned gropes and feels that many women have suffered over the years, especially at conventions. The way the people who started it have been attacked for the pure pleasure they found in opening themselves to this idea and in thinking that their thoughts and feelings about it could be shared with a larger group is nothing less than horrible. Clearly it isn't for everybody, but they never *said* it was for everybody. They also didn't claim it was without flaws, and obviously one issue with it is that people may have chosen to participate due to perceived peer pressure, and/or without understanding that the little buttons meant "I may say no" just as much as they meant "you may ask."
I also think the name of the project is not quite right, since "Open Source" traditionally means no barriers, anyone can play, and while anyone could join this project, it was about permissions and consensual contact, not about making your body a public resource or about taking away your right to control access. As I said above, it was rather the opposite.
And I think it was a good thing, and I admire my friends who started it, and I stand by them, and I am not ashamed that I was pleased to take part.
To me this was really about gender-nonspecific personal connection and permission-granting (or not granting), not women caving to the male power or notions of body-rightness.
A lot of people are concluding it was a "You had to be there" kind of thing, but it's frustrating that people clearly don't understand.
Society has been telling us women all our lives that our breasts are not our own to make decisions about--that they are inherently only for certain approved purposes and we must otherwise cover them and protect them from detailed touch or inspection with things like bras and clothing and moats and lions and tigers, if necessary, because the only person who is allowed to see and touch them is YOUR MAN and you aren't allowed to assert a non-standard set of access permissions yourself.
This project stood that on its head. It was in fact a fine case of feminist rebellion, combined with general rebellion against socially defined rules and toward opt-in interpersonal intimacy and appreciation.
I am really sorry that at least one track of the widespread online discussion of this project was headlined with mean disdain and an association of it with the thousands of creepy, unsanctioned gropes and feels that many women have suffered over the years, especially at conventions. The way the people who started it have been attacked for the pure pleasure they found in opening themselves to this idea and in thinking that their thoughts and feelings about it could be shared with a larger group is nothing less than horrible. Clearly it isn't for everybody, but they never *said* it was for everybody. They also didn't claim it was without flaws, and obviously one issue with it is that people may have chosen to participate due to perceived peer pressure, and/or without understanding that the little buttons meant "I may say no" just as much as they meant "you may ask."
I also think the name of the project is not quite right, since "Open Source" traditionally means no barriers, anyone can play, and while anyone could join this project, it was about permissions and consensual contact, not about making your body a public resource or about taking away your right to control access. As I said above, it was rather the opposite.
And I think it was a good thing, and I admire my friends who started it, and I stand by them, and I am not ashamed that I was pleased to take part.
Re: Question about the progression online
Re: Question about the progression online
I think it's because you managed to flip out open-source users/programming nerds, sf/f fans/con goers and feminists simultaneously and it mushroom clouded from there. If nothing else, you are efficient...
Re: Question about the progression online
While I'm here, I'd also like to apologize to you. I'd be surprised if you hadn't had to field some ugly questions on what it's like to collaborate with me, and while I haven't paid attention to what you've said, I trust so inherently in your fairness that even if you're saying very negative things about me, I know that it's not just some brutal attack. Which it could easily be, if you wanted.
You were a really good person to work with, and I'm really sad we never hashed it out in a way we could make it work. But the worst part of all of this is that it dragged all sorts of people into what's a drama that I wish I could have kept to me alone. I don't know how badly you've been affected, but if you have, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.
Re: Question about the progression online
Maybe it's because I've commented in a few places and got a lot of agreement and encouragement. Admittedly, I've been interested in the discussion this brought forth because I feel like in some ways it's arguments we had over the strip writ large. I had a couple of people friend me, but as one was one of the heinous harassers I told him to fuck off. I don't know if my position has been so clear no one has bothered me, or more likely, HotS ended 4 months ago and everyone's forgotten about me entirely. Hell, I've jumped on feminist forums and said that I think it was an ill-conceived post that lent a rather predatory air to what sounds like a warm fuzzy experience, and while you're oblivious to a lot of aspects of male privilege you're not a bad guy. Basically what I said in your journal. Still I've gotten very little flack for it. I think it's because someone comes along and says something far more exciting in a couple of comments.
In short, don't worry about me, I'm fine. :)
Re: Question about the progression online
Are you kidding? I miss that strip so much it's still in my "comics" folder on my bookmarks bar... the one with the 5 daily comics I let myself read every day. Because I somehow don't want to accept that it's over. Every so often I go back and admire it. Your work there rocked and I'm very much hoping you'll do another project.
Forgotten about you? No way!
Re: Question about the progression online
Re: Question about the progression online
Thanks, and sorry anyway.