Some have commented to me that they are amazed at how freely I will be true to myself in public regarding controversial issues and oddball interests. Anything I might gain by staying silent about them is not worth the cost. But I am not quite so confident when it comes to being myself in social settings.
I feel like I have been much more able to be myself since entering fandom than I was during the church years. There are fewer expectations to meet. But of course, expectations are still there. And ironically, in a culture with looser rules, it's more difficult to know how to behave than it is in a rigid society.
I frequently expect to miscalculate someone and interact with them wrongly. I did not receive much training in how to detect the limits and preferences of individuals, and how they change when they combine with the company of other people. Every person is their own culture, and so is every duo, and every trio, each with its own norms.
I'm not bad at it, but could be better. There are several others I've observed who display a seemingly effortless capacity to know what behavior would be acceptable and what lines not to cross, and I observe them closely.
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I feel like I have been much more able to be myself since entering fandom than I was during the church years. There are fewer expectations to meet. But of course, expectations are still there. And ironically, in a culture with looser rules, it's more difficult to know how to behave than it is in a rigid society.
I frequently expect to miscalculate someone and interact with them wrongly. I did not receive much training in how to detect the limits and preferences of individuals, and how they change when they combine with the company of other people. Every person is their own culture, and so is every duo, and every trio, each with its own norms.
I'm not bad at it, but could be better. There are several others I've observed who display a seemingly effortless capacity to know what behavior would be acceptable and what lines not to cross, and I observe them closely.